i wonder if it's common practice for other blogs to randomly change their blog names once in a short while. because i did it first and then connie did it and we both do it now to a ridiculous degree. so i'll just go rename my blog now again.

Thursday, October 31, 2002
i'm eating scooby-doo fruit snacks.  there's a funny picture from taiwan here .. my friend sent it to me.  notice how i endanger myself and my camera as well.  i finished two sections of calculus homework, two english worksheets, and a lot of mindless spanish worksheet problems.  actually, everything was pretty mindless.  i was going to finish filling out my early common app and supplement tonight, but i guess i won't do it.  tomorrow maybe.  actually, tomorrow my mom's taking me to the mall after school to escape the hordes of little children that invade our neighborhood because of the convenience going from house to house.  and she's putting up a sign that says "we are christians. we do not celebrate halloween" even though i keep telling her not to.  we're going to have a damaged house after tomorrow night.  you know what'd be cool?  if i had a water balloon launcher.

Wednesday, October 30, 2002
haha, michelle branch has a xanga. xangas are taking over the asian community. i have blogged about this before... :P

i just spent a stupid amount of time reading about colleges. stupid. i should have been doing homework. durr.

IT'S MY FAULT!!!
oh and it was me who posted on your xanga telling everyone to stop xangaing and being conformists, and to come back and blog. b/c that way we don't have to read through a gazillion things each day. or you could just not read anything like I did and feel completely out of the loop for awhile. BLOG!!!

derk spilled apple juice on the "rugg." HAHAHAAhaaaaaaaaaaa............have i eaten of the insane root?

Tuesday, October 29, 2002
i'm now mortally terrified of college apps, and guess whose fault that is.... =P derek was completely attacking my xanga and i think it was revenge for not blogging in quite a while, so i decided i should make an appearance here.

i can still remember back to the days of pokemon cards, which evolved into magic cards and so on... the patheticness of little asian boys is amazing. my brother and cousins are still obsessed with some yu-gi-oh crap which also involves cards, i dont understand this at all. cards are a waste of money.

hey ellen, we're playing you guys tomorrow, you should come! =)

spilling apple juice. what an act of defiance. i am quivering in fear, and i bet mr. rugg is also. :)

grr. mrs. whitten is.. blaah. she can only look at my essays on thursday now. GRR!! she had "forgotten" that she had a "professional day" on wednesday, which was when i was supposed to meet with her. so NOW, all i have is thursday. i gave her my essays to read today and we're meeting thursday at lunch to go over them. that's so annoying! i could have sent it ALL IN on SATURDAY if i weren't waiting for her to clear her schedule! and she saw DEREK before ME even though I asked FIRST. ARRRGH!!!!!! DO YOU SENSE THE FRUSTRATION IN MY VOICE?!?! AH! AHHHH!!!!!!!

ahem. sorry about that. :)

there's no one to take me home. i'm in the library right now, around three-thirty tuesday afternoon, and i should be home doing something with my college essays. but there's no one to take me home. all these freshmen are behind me playing chess or magic cards (um, yes okay) and they're all little chinese boys. was i ever like that? i don't think i ever played chess or magic cards in school. i remember collecting star wars cards in sixth or seventh grade, but that was over in less than a year. but i was really addicted to them. and video games too. maybe i should try to play some more games lately, like counterstrike or those snes emulator rpgs that i never finished. final fantasy iii. i never even finished ffvii on my computer because it stopped working suddenly one day. sigh. i'm feeling wistful.

yeah, they're still playing (i turned around to check). whitten looked at my essays the other day and it seems like she's trying to change everything so that in the end it comes out to become a perfect strunk and white's "the elements of style" specimen. that book is getting quite irritating. the fact is that it is aggravating me. anyway, i read about a book called "on writing well" that's supposed to be an even better style guide than strunk and white. and then my dad showed me all these other ones he has on his bookshelf. they're all so tacky. when i grow up, i'm going to fill my shelves up with design books and good literature and maybe some nonfiction that i like to read. i hate those books that are so uglily produced -- oh that's right, i borrowed "rugg's recommendations to the colleges" from guidance and that book is seriously the worst book ever, in every way possible. there are so many typos, mr. rugg sounds like an idiot in his writing, his colleges are all mixed up and not in order, and his methodology is ridiculous. "i picked these schools because i liked them." yeah okay. anyway, i got really angry reading that book. so i spilled apple juice on it.

Saturday, October 26, 2002
i feel like i'm cutting it a little close. see, the only time whitten can look over my essays is on wednesday at lunch. and the application is due on friday. so.. i feel like i'm cutting it a little close. although.. i don't think it really matters when you send it in, as long as it's postmarked before the deadline. i think. i just can't help but be paranoid, though. and then .. i'm pretty much comfortable with my essays. i hope whitten doesn't tear them apart. argh. my brain is dying. i can't think straight.

i was talking to mrs. gothelf on friday night at my gymnastics meet, cause her daughter is on freehold boro's team. and she was telling me how she was talking to a couple guys earlier. and she was like, "yes i was talking to rich li and.. i can't remember the other one." i'm glad that srikar made such a good impression on her. oh, and she gave me a hug too. hopefully that means she likes me and wrote a good recommendation... one can always hope.

my goal is to send out all my early stuff by.. today. so i think i'll go work on that now. good bye peoples.

Friday, October 25, 2002
maybe i can convince my mom that i need to spend eighty dollars to have essayedge redo my essays for me.  i wonder if it really works that well.

whenever i have an awkward or uncomfortable conversation and i don't know what to do with my eyes, i pretend i'm deaf and mute. you should try it steph.

don't -- bother about correct, Syntax or "punctuation no" one; needs it. anyway just write -- your! college essay as? it, pours out of: your mind "and just" put random. marks over (the paper) like i'm doing? "now;"

okay i'll probably go sleep.

Thursday, October 24, 2002
whenever i have an awkward or uncomfortable conversation with someone and i don't know what to do with my eyes, i just close them. you should try it steph.

there's so much relief down here that these two people are most likely the snipers. i think on the news they said that it's been the biggest investigation in this area's history...i don't mean to sound dramatic, but hopefully this is the end of the madness. that's basically how i feel, i guess.

hmm i've had many random conversations with teachers recently too. i talked with mrs. bryer in the hall between periods, i had touma look at my college essay, srik the freak and I cornered gothelf in the library, and yesterday dooley lent me his copy of the book "a beautiful mind." i was going to say happy belated mole day to dr. chen, since she's writing my recs, but by the time i remembered i figured she had probably left. and i actually participated in math today. oh yea and since mr. clayton takes his son to orchestra, I talked to mr. clayton today about calc and college. i don't think he remembered me.

does anyone think john mohammad looks like denzel washington? i was thinking they didn't have a picture of the real guy, so they just slapped denzel's picture on the tv.

i almost hit a raccoon on the way back from orchestra. it kinda just popped out from beyond the range of my headlights. i think with darwinian evolution, raccoons should eventually lose their dark coat and have psychadelic fur. we can have pink and neon green raccoons scurrying around, and we'll never have big fat black smelly roadkill again.

strunk and white is a like a disease. every time i write something now, all i can think about is correct syntax and grammar. agh. it's destroying my sanity. i can't write anything anymore. and that's not helping the college applications process. which has come to a standstill. AGH. i need some sort of inspiration.

i want to go to a nice concert. not like the one we went to at pnc, which was still fun. something small and intimate and cool.

so i had a nice conversation with mr. sanecki today. well, i think awkward is probably a better word. he came up to me in the library and just started talking to me. it was kind of scary. he's a really nice person and everything, but his height is rather frightening. if i stare straight ahead, i end up looking at his stomach. and he was standing very, very close to me, so i couldn't look up comfortably. i didn't know what to do with my eyes. he asked me about college.. and yeah. there was a point where neither of us knew what to say and that was REALLY weird. teachers are funny.

i feel like reading a good book.

Wednesday, October 23, 2002
memories are bittersweet.  i prefer the word "lowerclassman".  goo goo dolls are going to be in new jersey with lisa loeb in november.  i want to see michelle branch and jimmy eat world in concert.  as well as duncan sheik and ivy and stretch princess and barenaked ladies and moby and a lot of other artists.  i take nap now.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002
i don't think it has really hit me that I'm applying to college. I mean, sure, I'm filling out my apps and writing my essays and even putting stamps on envelopes, but it still feels as if I'll be in HS forever. Lately, however, I've been noticing sure signs that this will not happen.
1. As I walk through hhs, I notice that I'm no longer the underclassman walking around the larger upperclassman. Instead, I'm the upperclassman who is walking around the underclassman wondering why these people look older and larger than me... but aren't.
2. My closet is an accumulation of 3 years and some months of shopping and not really growing (although my mother informed me tonight that I've definitely gotten fatter). Wonderful.
3. Walking through hhs, I hear other people's last minute cramming and recognize which class they are cramming for (because I've taken that class) by the random facts that are discussed in a span of about 30 seconds.
4. This general feeling of anxiety seems to be rising in me more and more at an increased rate each day. No doubt it is an accumulation of 3 years and some months of being afraid of the future. Suddenly, the partition between future that I know and the scary future is not too far away.
I'm not sure that these are actually 4 reasons why I'm not going to be in hs forever. Actually, I'm pretty sure that they aren't. This blog is pointless. I find that I'm making less and less sense each day.

Wow... this blog is filled with a lot of bad sentence structure and punctuation. Oh well.

i think next blog I'll make a list of the outstanding memories that I've been feeling nostalgic for lately. I'm sure that'll make me cry. gosh, I'm such a sap.

Hey rich, can I play legos with you over the summer?

Monday, October 21, 2002
so i was writing my answer to the incredibly annoying cornell short answer, and i began remembering all those days playing with legos and micromachines and knex and my busted solar car and our kickass ROGATE project in 7th grade. and i realized how much i want to sit in my room and play with legos all summer long before college begins.

feel the power of the jump rope.

Sunday, October 20, 2002
so i was going to post this short email i received from john maeda of the acg (aesthetics and computation) group at mit media lab.  hm, he's really famous as a artist-engineer with his "design by numbers" software and the things that his department does.  anyway.  i thought it was good advice, though he completely didn't answer any of my questions about design programs and his team of graduate researchers.


mr. tsai
tough question. no simple answer.
but one simple answer. success is not a function of what school you go to.
it is inside you.
finding new paths -- it is an itch you have from when you are young -- you seem to have this from what you write. thus regardless of what decision you make, your 'scratching' at it will get you to where you want to be.

maeda


Saturday, October 19, 2002
i want caller id. i think i picked up the phone and found nobody there about five times today. that's really not cool. all that extra energy spent walking three feet and lifting the receiver to my ear.. grrr. i have a beef with people who call other people and hang up. especially if they are telemarketers. in which case, i just have a beef with them in general. i've been saying beef a lot lately. hmm.

quiz bowl was fun. there is nothing better than being surrounded by hundreds of nerds for six hours answering meaningless trivia questions.. :) haha, okay, there definitely is, but it was cool anyway. we got free pizza, too. i just wanted to hurt myself that night when i stayed up until twothirty-ish doing homework. and the next day when i could barely stay conscious for ten minutes at a time. that was lovely. :o)

i need to go and learn some math now.

Thursday, October 17, 2002
oh!  no orchestra, ohmygoodness.

so today i spent an extra two hours after school for har, learning from julius's dad about the research project that we'll be doing for the year, and it's actually not too unbearably boring.  i think we're going to be extracting chemicals from plants and running tests to isolate certain compounds that they use in pharmaceutical development.  anyway, so he brought in a few milligrams of this anticancer drug called taxol, and there was this brief exchange where i asked him how much it cost and he told us that it was half a million dollars per kilogram.  um, okay.  i wish he'd brought us more of it than he did.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002
we did a physics lab today.  don't get excited.  for two periods, we only managed to get one set of data from the speakers that emitted this incredibly annoying high pitched sustained beep noise .. at 1000hz it sounded like an off B and at 1700hz my ears were hurting after a few seconds.  i wanted to do quiz bowl too, but i thought maybe i shouldn't take away spaces from other people that might really really really want to do it because i can't commit completely to it.  and then someone tells me that he took everyone who went anyway.  oh well.

"don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got till it's gone?
pave paradise, put up a parkin lot."
the counting crows are pretty darn good, but i'll refrain from turning this into another "ooh, dl this really good song!" board. but first, has anyone found a decent version of "i'm still here" by john rzeznik?
darnit i wanted to go to quiz bowl.
i'm super excited about the physics lab tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002
well i got that quote from my class logic and rhetoric. it's not really a philosophy class though; it focuses more on the techniques of logic, rather than the actual arguments themselves. the western philosophy thing is a class i'm taking next year called Contemporary Civilizations, where we go from the whole deal with socrates and plato to like machiavelli and other relatively more modern thinkers.

what's that columbia core curriculum class you have to take -- western thought or philosophy or views or whatever it is.  anyway, i should refine my thinking.  it's all jumbled at the moment.  i got an interesting email yesterday, and i'll go find it now to blog about.

derek you're almost thinking like one of the more prominent philosophers in the 19th century, Jean-Jacques Rousseau. he said once: "if nothing is to be exacted from children by ways of obedience, it follows that they will only learn what they feel to be of actual and present advantage, either because they like it, or because it is of use to them."

...uh, yeah it's late and i'm cool

so my philosophy about learning is something like this: i learn what i want to learn or i have to learn.  what i have to learn, i learn to the point that i understand it enough to perform well academically.  meaningless repetitive work to "reinforce" concepts are exactly what they are, meaningless and repetitive.  what i want to learn, i learn to the point where i'm satisfied.  something like this.  i don't know what i'm saying, it's late and i'm tired, and i'm really irritated by the math assignments that are always "do problems one to forty-nine odd and problems fifty to sixty-five all and seventy-one to ninety-nine odd .."

Sunday, October 13, 2002
my head hurts. i just spent a long time using a permanent marker labelling college folders (my mom's brilliant organizational idea.. which probably isn't that original).. and the fumes are getting to me. wheeee.. college! harhar. and i have been trying to think of an essay topic. i visited essayedge.com and nearly killed myself trying to read the entire thing. it has a lot of good tips.. but it's not readable in one sitting. it has so many sample essays.. and a lot of them are really good. really REALLY good. and the ones they say are bad.. don't seem that bad when you first read them. aaaaaargh. this is rather difficult. :P

my brother is seeing ben folds tonight at princeton. nice. :)

"it's like some sort of conditioned response to cruddy weather. " haha...speaking of conditioned responses, steph and i were talking about pavlov while waiting in a massive crowd for newsboys (who sucked, by the way. ..in my opinion. they were better when i saw them four years ago). autumn blaze was great because superchick was there, i talked to tons of people from my (not so distant) past, met a few new people, and had a conversation with max hsu, who i think is amazing. i was obsessed with his old band back in the day ("back in the day" meaning when i was somewhere between 10-12). i enjoyed the rain and cold. the air was very brisk. =P i also like mud. i also like to run around in the rain. yes.

one of the girls who came w/ our group to autumn blaze went up to me at one point and said, "are you ellen? do you know ellen hsu??" to which i said yes. and then the girl turned around again. teehee. we (the ellens, i mean) are just so popular and cool. you other guys are ok, too. ;)

taiwan subways are nice. ny subways are too complicated. boston subways seem very...rustic.

i agree with china on the 3 school policy. dude it would be so much easier with the application process. well, maybe not. but it seems like it would. otherwise, i don't really agree with much of anything from china. what can i say? my family has successfully instilled taiwanese pride within me.

the dc metro system kicks subway system butt. in china, kids are only allowed to apply to 3 schools, in order of preference. and then all the school evaluate people who put them first choice first, then second, then third for remaining spots. why am i blogging here? stupid.

Saturday, October 12, 2002
u know what i think...people should pick just the one school they really wanna go to and only apply there for early action/decision and not take away potential spots of people who actually wanna go there....but that's just my ranting...it's all good, really. so i'm sitting at home bored out of my mind but not quite willing to do anything actually productive. go figure.

all right, a three-person blog.  i could be at autumn blaze today, but well -- i didn't sign up because i expected to go to columbia and then i didn't today because it was raining this morning and i didn't feel like spending a whole morning in cold wet smelly new york city.

especially the subway system, i hate it.  after being on that metro in taipei with the underground stations that are clean and climate-controlled and no food is allowed past the point where you swipe your card and go through a turnstile and then you wait in line at a mark on the platform where the doors always stop and the train is so smooth and not noisy (it makes a "whirrr" noise) and everything is so organized.  yeah, that was a sentence fragment.  after that, i can't go on the new york subway without noticing in the station the rusted gates and trash everywhere and strange ripped pieces of paper taped to walls and wet things dripping from the ceiling and making little rivers of brown liquid and a complete lack of ventilation or air-conditioning which makes it really hot or cold (depending on the season) and the trains are so old and dirty too and they shake so much.  mm.

i led worship yesterday.  it made me really nervous, and everything sort of came out not the way i expected it.  i wonder what people thought of it.  mm, i have such a larger role in fellowship now.  i was talking to someone about being outgoing yesterday, and i really wish i was more extroverted.  instead of being someone who's okay at yelling things to a crowd but unable to deal with personal interaction.

okay, so my mom wants me to have some essays done today and she wants me to give them to many people to go over.  i'm going to write about my design aspirations and my experiences with taiwan and then talk a bit about stories.  three potential essays, i think.  i was going to write about being an asian-american, but that seems overdone.  maybe i'll insert it somewhere.  lalala, i'm going to eat lunch.

Friday, October 11, 2002
today was good. not having to work in two classes and not having to sit for fortyfive minutes in a bus up to neptune, combined with that lovely friday-feeling, has made it a nice day. i am happy. yay. =)

i have an urge to watch amelie. and my mom just rented gosford park and i feel like watching that, too. i notice that i always feel like watching a movie when it's dark and rainy out. it's like some sort of conditioned response to cruddy weather.

i also have an urge to go shopping. for christmas presents or something. someone told me that the christmas decorations are already up at macys. hm, that is quite disturbing. my whole concept of time will be thrown off if that is true. christmas decorations are supposed to go up in november.. :oP but anyway.. i wonder what i'm going to do with christmas presents this year. i'm debating on whether i should go all out for christmas presents or graduation presents.. or both? i'm going to be broke by the end of this year. my reserves are already shrinking at an alarming rate. oh well. :)

perhaps i should get some work done now. perhaps..




autumn blaze tomorrow!!!!!! yay! :o)

Thursday, October 10, 2002
i have no idea what "bull durham" is.  i have no tv anymore either, by the way.  we used to have a bad antenna reception, but then my dad installed a dvd player (oh we have that, but really no dvds) and then something was messed up.  so now i don't get broadcast television either.  "panic room" is selling on half.com for about ten dollars -- i kind of want to see it.  i have a "movies to see" list somewhere on my computer ..

i read somewhere that bull durham was voted the best sports movie of all time. good stuff, though i haven't seen it yet.

wow, i go away for a week and look what happens. that's kind of like that weird little line in the trailer for abandon. which looks.. weird. benjamin bratt is cool, though. yep.

there are a lot of good romantic comedies out there. i was watching bull durham on tv tonight after i got home from our game (which we won!). that is a good movie. kevin costner is so cool. except, of course, for waterworld and the postman. and i'm sure there are other very strange roles he has been in. but anyway. i like bull durham.

i really dislike talking about college. actually, sometimes it's tolerable, but other times i want to bash my head repeatedly against a wall. i wish it were january. sigh.

it's late. i should really sleep.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002
i remember an important lesson: you are what you eat.  so after a late dinner, i am rice with some potatoes and small pieces of chicken (i think) and some more chicken (i'm sure) and then a little bit of fruit and ice cream and a quarter of a small brownie.  this math homework is so tedious.  i shouldn't have let myself get this far behind.

anyway, so i was making my informal last night and just randomly cutting out words from an old issue of "wired" magazine and the phrase just sort of made itself: "turn your life into more than a tired story".  and then i stupidly messed it all up by putting tape on it, to arrange the cut-outs in the right manner and then i was planning to glue them on and peel the tape off, but then the tape wouldn't come off without ripping the paper.  so i was forced to leave ugly scotch tape on the paper -- um no, i wasn't going to go back and look for new words.  oh well.  my mom chose my senior picture for the yearbook and i don't really care about that either.  they all look bad.

so i was eating large amounts of crackers, and then i realized that there were little bugs crawling all over the crackers inside the bag. yum. my kitchen cabinets seem to have a penchant for attracting little critters. so now that i've thoroughly grossed you out, remember this very important lesson: watch what you eat--literally.

Tuesday, October 08, 2002
i had quite an adventure tonight on the way to my MIT interviewer's house. I had tennis until 6, but the interview was scheduled at 7:30, so showered at the club and left to find his house in case i got miserably lost, though it was only a couple miles from the club. so i found it in a few minutes and then wandered around little silver and rumson looking for a place to eat, and i ended up at the starbucks in Grove in shrewsbury. when i got my pathetic little fake dinner, i got in my car, then tried get out again to get something from my trunk, and the STUPID alarm starts going off! i start frantically pushing buttons for 20 seconds and finally the STUPID alarm shuts off. i think i must have done 5 k-turns on the way back to his house b/c i kept going past the turns. gosh its been a fun day. and i think i'm failing half my classes.

Monday, October 07, 2002
so many things to do.  i was planning on getting my top four application things for harvard, yale, upenn and columbia to guidance and to teachers by tomorrow, but now i'm not sure it's possible.  maybe i'll finish it up soon.  i've realized that i'm very indecisive.

Sunday, October 06, 2002
oh poo. i haven't seen "alias" in such a long time. and i'm the chick who has wanted to be a spy since...well, since that fateful day in us history class. anyway. I FINISHED MY FIRST APPLICATION TODAY!! i'm super excited! =D hopefully i'll send it this first baby out tomorrow. the postage stamps i'm using has teddy bears (oh no!) on them.

my brother bought one of those hard case backpacks while we were in hawaii two summers ago. then i said he looked like rocketeer. then i made fun of him. then his friends made fun of him. then my parents decided it was too expensive and then he returned it. derk you should get it so i can call you rocketeer. that was a good movie. well, it was when i watched it in third grade or so. haha.

i just wrote a rant on my pet peeves about colleges (more specifically, seniors applying to colleges) but i erased it. i erase things a lot when i write on this blog. theres an eerie power over this blog that is making me censor my thoughts. ...right. =P


so in that helsinki scene in tonight's "alias", sydney was wearing one of those boblbee hard-case backpacks that i wanted to get in taiwan over the summer -- too bad they cost about $150 american each.  but i was excited when i saw her wearing it.  i'm having a difficult time with college applications.  my dad basically just told me today (through e-mail) that he's unwilling to send me to any ivy league school.  and that i should seriously consider going to rutgers.  and i don't even know what to say about this.  i'm going to get some things ready for tomorrow ..

Friday, October 04, 2002
ah, so if you looked at my blog and compared the activity level of this year with last year's and then sophomore year's, you'd think that my life was a lot more exciting back then.  it wasn't.  i think it's still about the same, just different in some ways.  okay anyway, i'm going to make some effort to blog more often now, since i keep coming back and there's nothing.  not even by me.



Wednesday, October 02, 2002
the fellowship name is changing? i still like koinania (i think i spelled it wrong) best. crossroads is aight. too many acronyms in the world today. college is acronym hell...for example, there's this residence hall here called Hall on Virginia Ave, so it is "affectionately" called HOVA. however, everytime it is mentioned in writing, it is always Hall on Virginia Ave (HOVA)...and they write that over and over again! so there really is no point to the acronym, and it makes the name even longer. Hall on Virginia Ave (HOVA), by the way, is the old howard johnson inn across the street (virginia ave, coincidentally) from the watergate complex, and was used as the look-out in the watergate scandal. the famous room, i think it's 723 not sure, was turned into a miniature museum, with pictures and stuff about the whole thing. just like the acronym, there isn't a point to this blog either.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002
we need a good fellowship name.  i want "joywok!" because (a) i don't like bad acronyms, (b) i don't like numbers, and (c) i don't like unoriginal names that are stolen from other .. things.  ahaha, but i thought a funny anonymously submitted entry (though i know who put it in) was "FARTS", which stands for "fat/friendly and ready to serve".  the other ones are pretty bad.  "teens of the lord", oh so creative.  "HOPE, honest open pleasant energetic", "NET, next evangelic teen" (or without the N, which would make "ET"), "Y321, young youth yielding to the one" -- arg.  i wish we could've come up with "friday night live" instead of some other huge college group.  anyway, okay.

every fob girl's dreamboat??  what.